What are your natural inclinations when it comes to leading others through conflict? Some are controlling leaders. They fight fire with fire. Below are several characteristics of the controlling leader.

Tends to be proud, self-absorbed, and forceful; successful at extinguishing opposition.

Prefers to attack conflict (and people) head on; quick to speak, slow to listen.

Skilled at behind the scenes maneuvering, recruiting allies, and using political structures. Tends to polarize people and trigger factions (“You’re either for me or against me”).

Success means eliminating opposition, even if they leave the church deeply embittered.

Church typically pressured to maintain appearance of unity even though it may be highly polarized beneath the surface; people often fearful of voicing differences.

Conflicts may be suppressed for years, but many controlling leaders are eventually consumed by a conflict they could not control.

Source: True leaders must be peacemakers, by Ken Sande.